As I sit on my parent's couch which dog sitting on the eve of 2014 I have a lot of time to reflect on the past year. I ran two half marathons 8 weeks apart while fighting a sprained ankle (happened during the first half), I went through hell with fighting to save my marriage, filed for divorce, had my first Thanksgiving and Christmas solo in ten years and I am still standing.
Through four deaths of family members, I realized who my friends are. I also realized who was too busy to be there when I needed them. With a divorce in the works, I have lost friends but I have also gained friends. I feel like this is normal and I don't blame any of my friends for not understanding what I am dealing with. The whole process sucks and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, but I also feel like I am a better person for having dealt with these things.
Tomorrow brings a fresh start for me. As a friend told me when going through the initial thought process of filing for divorce, it is time to just "do me". I have not forgotten that phrase or that conversation because he is so right. It is time to focus on myself and my goals and desires for my life. I spent too much time trying to please other people on all levels. When asked to give up the things I love which have molded me into who I am today, I realized that I don't want to. I was crazy to try to give up those things and still be the person I was becoming. I am a strong, stubborn female but I want to live my life to the fullest.
2014 is going to be my year. I will not set resolutions because I feel like every time I do that, I am setting myself up for failure. Rather I have goals that I want to accomplish. I am still working on some of them and I know my goals will evolve and change as the year goes on and I get stronger in all levels, and that is okay. This big goal for me is to lose the last 15-20 lbs and to get my body fat to between 21-23%. This is do-able as long as I can stay focused on my nutrition. I will also be eating as clean as possible to help cut out the processed foods and gluten from my eating habits. Another big goal for me is to complete the Rock N Roll Half Marathon in July in under 2 hours and 30 minutes. I was so close to that goal last year and I missed it by about 8 minutes. In a year between the two Rock N Roll Halfs I did, i improved my time by almost 25 minutes, which I will take since the second race was with only four weeks of running and fighting a sprained ankle.
Once big thing I learned this year is that life happens and we can't stop it. We need to learn how to embrace it and run with it and make the best of it. I have learned the past year that I do have the strength and the power and the resources to accomplish anything I set my mind to. I just need to remember that I am good enough and strong enough and stubborn enough to complete anything I want to. It is all in the mind set that I have going into a task or a situation. Everything happens for a reason, we just dont always know the reason at the time. I learned that this is so true no matter what the situation is, good or bad. It is time to do me and in doing so, I will become the best person that I can be.
Tomorrow brings a yoga class at 10 am and then a run at the gym for hopefully an hour. It has been a month since I have run for various reasons and it is time to get back on the wagon. I have a 10K in two weeks that I need to make sure I am ready for.
Here's to a new year with a fresh start and new goals.
