The Fresh 20 and 100 Happy Days

Lots of things have been going on since the last post a month ago . . .

I have signed up for a new challenge at the gym . . .
I have struggled with motivation . . .
I became an aunt twice in less than a month . . . 
I have signed up for the Fresh 20 website . . .
I committed to 100 happy days . . .

Lets touch on the challenge at the gym, which ties in with the lack of motivation. The challenge is not something new to me. I have participated many times before, but only really being successful once. It was the one time when I had a plan in place for my work outs, running and eating that things fell into place. This time I have a plan in place with the eating and a plan in place with the running/lifting, it is just making myself follow those plans. I feel like part of the problem is the weather we are dealing with. I can handle the snow and I can handle the cold, I cannot handle the bitter cold and below zero temperatures that we have been having this winter. If it hits 25 degrees outside I make myself run outside because it is at least a change of scenery. I have the clothes for 20+ degrees to run outside so this has become somewhat enjoyable. I usually cannot run outside as far, but I do get some miles in as slow and as ugly as they may seem, they still count. 

I have learned over the past month that we all have good days and okay days and bad days related to anything going on in our life. Its okay to have those types of days, but it is also important to learn from those days. Lack of motivation has been the hardest thing for me ever. I can eat right, I can run, and I can lift, but for me to do so every day is where I struggle. I need to turn that external energy internally to figure out how to stay motivated. For my eating, I signed up for a new website (www.TheFresh20.com) which supplies weekly meal plans that contain 5 dinner recipes for four people plus the prep instructions, grocery list and nutritional values of each meal and side dish. My cousin is using this website with the vegetarian option, but I decided to go with the gluten free option. My biggest issue with eating gluten free is that I run out of meal ideas and eating the same thing over and over again tends to get boring. The nice thing with each recipe being for four people is that I can pick and choose a little bit more what I want to try and what I can't eat. Not only did I get a year of meal plans once a week, but I have the archives which is three additional years worth of recipes. This could be great and will supply me with so many meal options that I will never get bored with food again. For my lifting, I have my trainer three days a week that is constantly changing things up and I swear every workout is harder than the one before. For my cross-training . . . well, more to come on that later.

In the past month, I have become an aunt to two new nephews. These boys are going to be so much fun as they grow up together and cause problems for their parents together. It is so fun to see the differences and similarities in them.

James Roger (J.R) born January 30th at 12:21 am

This is Clark Roscoe who was born January 11th at 12:21 pm

Even when these two were born, the information was almost adentical from the time to the size. They will be trouble as they grow up, but it will be awesome to watch from the sidelines and spoil them as often as I want while giving them back to their parents when necessary.

Earlier this week I saw a post on facebook from a friend with a picture and the subject line of: "Can You Be Happy for 100 Days in a Row?" Never in the past would I have thought about this and if it was possible. After seeing my therapist earlier this week and having the task of focusing on all outcomes, no matter how small or if they are good or bad, I felt like this was 100% something I should take part in. The hard part of this challenge is that it is not a gratuity thing, it is a happiness thing . .. meaning it is not about things you are grateful for but rather about things or moments that make you happy. It doesn't change my feelings about participating though. I think having that reminder to focus on something that has brought you happiness even for a moment helps us to realize that there is good in the world and even during the shittiest times, there are good, caring people out there. Everyone has been dealt something crappy in their life. It is because of these times or moments or years even that we are the people we are today. I would not give up any bad thing that has happened because thru each of those things, I learned who my real friends are and I learned who I was and I am stronger because of it all. I saw this picture the other day and it is so true on various levels.

This picture says it all. We have all had things happen in our lives, some people talk about them, some people post them all over Facebook or another type of social media and some people keep it all inside. I have known people who do all of the above. I used to keep everything inside until one friend made me start talking about me and if something had happened how to deal with it. I learned that I don't want the attention from social media and I am not one to focus solely on myself, but that it is okay to talk about yourself and your problems every once in awhile. It helps to deal with the underlying issue and come up with a plan of attack to heal and move forward. Sometimes the pain never fully goes away and that is okay to as long as we can learn to use that pain as motivation to become a better person. When we first meet someone, as humans sometime we will compare ourselves to that person. Everyone has a story, and not every part of that story is something that is shared. For me, I constantly have to remind myself to be me and my life is like no one else's and even if someone has dealt with the same type of event, it is usually not the same exact thing. Even when someone hurts us, intentionally or not, we need to remember that they might not know any better and rather than focusing on harming them back or wishing harm to them, our energy is so much better spent if we focus on making ourselves better. 

#100happydays Day 1 for me was that I am physically and mentally able to run on a treadmill. To have the leg strength to run and to allow my body to move in such a way that I can clear my thoughts and I can have that time to think about myself and how to make me a better me is something that not every one is capable of. Sometimes we take the little things in life for granted, but it is usually those little things that are what keeps us moving forward. As long as I believe in myself and really believe that I am capable of accomplishing something, I will do great things in my life.

A 10k Race and A New Nephew

The past week has had its ups and downs. Mostly they have been ups, but there have been a few moments of downs. Most of these were when I thought about the Polar Dash 10k which was this past Saturday. The past two weeks we have had massive amounts of snow, then negative forty degree windchills which highs in the negative twenties then rain and forty degree weather. This drastic weather change caused massive sinus issues for me. I was functioning but not at the normal 100% that I had been before the holidays. On Thursday of last week, my parents and my brother in law were would of town. Parents on a fun hunting trip and brother in law on a work trip. The fear for the weekend with them out of town was that my sister would go into labor. Luckily this did not happen. Her baby was just not ready to come out into the big, scary world just yet.

This past Saturday was the Polar Dash which is sponsored by Team Ortho. This is the first of four races that Team Ortho sponsors in Chicago. I thought when I signed up for this race, I would be ready to run and I would be in full training mode, which would make a 10k easy no matter what the conditions were on race day. Well, race day came after forty degree weather and melting snow and ice. I signed up for the Polar Dash after a friend convinced me to about two months ago. At the time, it sounded like a great idea. The path was icy in spots, wet most of the place and kinda slippery. I was more successful than I thought I would be. I did not have any true expectations for this race knowing that I had not run since Thanksgiving. Sure, I had a three mile run here or there, but it was nothing serious or consistent. The advantage I feel I had was from having the training schedule of three times a week lifting with a trainer. I attribute the amount of time I actually ran to being consistent with my lifting. Hey, its better than nothing. About mile 4, after the turn around and on the way back to the finish my ankle started to flare. I was currently at about a 12:30 min mile pace, which I was happy with. I had some faster miles and some slower miles, mostly because of the ice and puddles. After my ankle started to flare up, I saw the lady I signed up with. I decided that I would run/walk with her to kinda give my ankle a rest and to keep myself from pushing too hard and side lining myself. Well, for as tough as my run was, the lady I ran with set a PR for a 10k race. I am so proud of her because it was a goal for her to break a 15 min mile and she killed it. You can see in the below picture from after the race that she is beaming from crushing her goal.

As we pull into the garage to park before the race I get a call from my little brother telling me that my sister in law's water broke and they were at the hospital waiting to go to labor and delivery. At about 10:45 as we are about a mile from the finish, I get a text from my brother that my sister in law was expected to have the baby about 1:00pm that day. We got changed after the race, dropped my brother's car off at his office and back to the hospital about 45 minutes before my nephew was born. Thankfully, the lady I was with for the race didnt mind sitting in a waiting room till the baby was born. My nephew was born at 12:21 on Saturday afternoon. After meeting Clark Roscoe, we headed out of the city. I got to spend some time with my brother and sister in law on Sunday before the rest of my family came into the city. It was really awesome to have a few hours to just hold my nephew and catch up with my little brother.

Meet Clark Roscoe born on Saturday, January 11th at 12:21 pm. I am so excited to spoil this little guy as much as possible. Having met Clark, I cannot wait to meet my sister's soon to be born son as well. Two new nephews in a very short time span. . . What more could I ask for?

Today I decided to figure out how many and which races I have signed up for. It ends up that I have run one 10k already and am signed up for 6 more races with the possibility of three more. Currently I am signed up for:

Polar Dash 10k - Jan 11th 
Get Lucky 7K - March 19th (4.34 miles) 
Shamrock Shuffle 8k - March 30th (4.96 miles) 
Soldier Field 10 Miler - May 24th 
 Rock n Roll Half - July 20th
 Fort 2 Base 5k- August 24th 
Women's Rock 10K - September 20th
Monster Dash Half - October 19th
Hot Chocolate 15k - November 2nd

With these three that I am most likely going to register for just havent yet:

Illinois Marathon 10k - April 26th
Fort 2 Base 5k- August 24th
Hot Chocolate 15k - November 2nd 

I love the fact that I have for once planned my race schedule for the year out. I would love one race a month for the year, but as of right now, I am missing February, June and December. If it doesn't happen that way, it is okay in my mind since this will be the most races I have done in a year time span. I am still considering running a full marathon, but not this year. This year I am focusing on myself and my base mileage and will decide next year. I have thought a lot about this and think I will build the base in 2014 then start training in January of 2015 knowing that as the months go by and we get closer to October, when the Chicago Marathon is run, I can sign up if that is really something I want to do. Having these races already planned really helps me to focus on my running, training and eating options to become the best me I can be. 

Running as an Outlet

Running is something that I have learned to love. It makes me feel like I am on top of the world with no real reason to feel anything but amazing. Running lets me do things that other people either dont want to or believe they cant. Everyone can run . . . it is a constant internal battle to find the motivation and desire to keep going. I was at a party for friends of ours and everyone asked how I lost the weight. For me, its running and lifting that have made the biggest difference.

I started running a year and a half ago because my trainer believe it would be a good goal to complete a half marathon since the scale moving and smaller clothes size was not motivating me anymore. It was so hard at first, I can't lie. I had about sixteen weeks to train for Rock 'N' Roll half in July of 2012. I could not get through a long run without crying for whatever the reason may be. I finally ran an eight mile run and walked into the gym to stretch, shower and change for work. When I walked into the gym, my trainer asked how it went. My response was that it was the first long run I didnt have to walk for any part of and it was the first long run that I didnt cry at any time during. It was a huge accomplishment and even during the tough runs now, I hold onto that feeling.

Since I started running in April of 2012, I have run multiple 5k's, 10k's and three half marathons. I ran Rock n Roll in July 2012, Rockford Half in May 2013 and Rock n Roll in July 2013. These are the biggest accomplishments I have had with my races. Each half has gotten a little bit faster. This year the goal for Rock n Roll in July 2014 is to break a 2:30 half marathon. I have never been a runner. I hated every minute of running, but now I find myself craving an hour outside by myself to sort out my thoughts. I honestly feel myself craving a run when things are hectic or chaotic or just stressful. Running has become an outlet for me that I never want to lose.

The most frustrating part of running is the sprained ankles for me. I rolled my right ankle at mile 9 during Rockford Half last year. This took the eight weeks I had between Rockford and Rock n Roll down to only four weeks of running, after two weeks of nothing and two weeks on the bike. This was one of the hardest things for me since I was looking forward to Rock n Roll. I was still faster than at Rockford, but not as much as I wanted to be. It was a learned lesson for me to pay more attention to my surroundings and be aware of what I am doing while running. I have gotten into the habit of letting my brain shut down while running. I have since learned that no matter how much I have on my mind, I still need to focus on my form and my footings and my surroundings.

The past year and a half have taught me that I am capable of anything I put my mind to given enough time and the right coach. Sometimes I forget these details and doubt the training or the plan but I know deep down that as long as I trust the plan, I will be fine and ready and successful. It has been hard to trust the plan because it is not a plan I have created. It is usually a plan that was designed by my old trainer and as much as I trusted him, I doubted myself more often than not.

Running has helped me deal with death, depression, divorce and many other things. Running has allowed me to find myself and realize that I am good enough and I deserve to be happy no matter what I am doing in my life and that I deserve to have the support to be successful in any task I put my mind to. I hope everyone will be able to find the things that make them happy and the people who support them. It is important to do what makes you happy and healthy and makes life enjoyable. Once you have those, the rest fall into place. It may take more time than we want it to, but it does happy one step at a time.

New Years Eve

As I sit on my parent's couch which dog sitting on the eve of 2014 I have a lot of time to reflect on the past year. I ran two half marathons 8 weeks apart while fighting a sprained ankle (happened during the first half), I went through hell with fighting to save my marriage, filed for divorce, had my first Thanksgiving and Christmas solo in ten years and I am still standing.

Through four deaths of family members, I realized who my friends are. I also realized who was too busy to be there when I needed them. With a divorce in the works, I have lost friends but I have also gained friends. I feel like this is normal and I don't blame any of my friends for not understanding what I am dealing with. The whole process sucks and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, but I also feel like I am a better person for having dealt with these things.

Tomorrow brings a fresh start for me. As a friend told me when going through the initial thought process of filing for divorce, it is time to just "do me". I have not forgotten that phrase or that conversation because he is so right. It is time to focus on myself and my goals and desires for my life. I spent too much time trying to please other people on all levels. When asked to give up the things I love which have molded me into who I am today, I realized that I don't want to. I was crazy to try to give up those things and still be the person I was becoming. I am a strong, stubborn female but I want to live my life to the fullest.

2014 is going to be my year. I will not set resolutions because I feel like every time I do that, I am setting myself up for failure. Rather I have goals that I want to accomplish. I am still working on some of them and I know my goals will evolve and change as the year goes on and I get stronger in all levels, and that is okay. This big goal for me is to lose the last 15-20 lbs and to get my body fat to between 21-23%. This is do-able as long as I can stay focused on my nutrition. I will also be eating as clean as possible to help cut out the processed foods and gluten from my eating habits. Another big goal for me is to complete the Rock N Roll Half Marathon in July in under 2 hours and 30 minutes. I was so close to that goal last year and I missed it by about 8 minutes. In a year between the two Rock N Roll Halfs I did, i improved my time by almost 25 minutes, which I will take since the second race was with only four weeks of running and fighting a sprained ankle.

Once big thing I learned this year is that life happens and we can't stop it. We need to learn how to embrace it and run with it and make the best of it. I have learned the past year that I do have the strength and the power and the resources to accomplish anything I set my mind to. I just need to remember that I am good enough and strong enough and stubborn enough to complete anything I want to. It is all in the mind set that I have going into a task or a situation. Everything happens for a reason, we just dont always know the reason at the time. I learned that this is so true no matter what the situation is, good or bad. It is time to do me and in doing so, I will become the best person that I can be.

Tomorrow brings a yoga class at 10 am and then a run at the gym for hopefully an hour. It has been a month since I have run for various reasons and it is time to get back on the wagon. I have a 10K in two weeks that I need to make sure I am ready for.

Here's to a new year with a fresh start and new goals.